So it's been a fun journey. We moved to the east coast then found out we're having a baby. Then we started going to church, joined a small group, made friends, found jobs, found a house, etc. etc. etc...what does it all mean?
Recently I've been feeling restless. Wondering what we're doing out here. We took a faith step and moved without knowing why. We just knew we were supposed to pick up and move. How long? That's a good question. Are we staying here? Good question. Have you ever driven through a good fog? You know where you know the car is moving, but you're not sure if you're going to hit something or how far the destination is. It gets thicker and thinner and thicker and thinner, but you're still not sure how far till you arrive to the place you started traveling to. Sometimes you feel like you should just pull over and wait or even turn the car around and go back. At least then you know the destination is within reach. Are we here to minister to a specific person? Are we here just to heal (like ministry rehab)? Are we here to stay and to raise our children in a more family oriented place? I'm open. I'm game to whatever God wants. Back in, stay out, move here, stay there. That's fine...I just want to know...when is the fog going to lift?
So when in a fog...what do you do?
3 comments:
Thanks for posting this, Alyssa... I relate to it so well.
I've been doing the fog thing for three plus years and the only thing I can do is keep going.
Someone once told me "you want to know God's will?... eat what's on your plate." It's not very satisfying to me because I want things closed, complete, known. But that doesn't require faith, does it?
Steven Curtis Chapman is kind of famous for 80s and 90s Christian music (though he's still around and writing amazing stuff) but I appreciate his music because he "gets" the fog. He put it this way in a song:
Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds
These are the places
I was so sure I'd find Him.
I've looked in the pages
And I've looked down on my knees
I've lifted my eyes in expectation
To see the sun still refusing to shine, but...
Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
Sometimes our faith can only grow when we can't see.
And sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes I see me,
a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gather
I watch my faith turn to fear, but...
Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
Sometimes our faith can only grow when we can't see.
And sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes He comes in the rain
And we question the pain
And wonder why
God can seem so far away
But time will show us
He was right there with us.
Alyssa, I think Becky was God sent. I'll be praying for you tonight.
I absolutely love your photo.
As for not knowing, don't you wish God would just send an email? 8-) However, it sounds like you are right where you are supposed to be. There's an old expression, let go and let God.
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